Q&A #48 - Bribery Parameters, Bad/Good Influence on/from Friends, Torah on Inner Work, What is YBT

Length:49 minutes
Synopsis: This morning (6/18/26), in lieu of morning Mishlei, we had the last Q&A - and last shiur! - of the 2025-2026 season. We took up four questions: (1) What are the parameters of philosophical/ethical bribery? (2) How do you navigate having friends who could potentially have a bad influence on you, and how might you have a good influence on them? (3) What would you say to a person who is unaware that the Torah cares about our inner life? (4) How does one explain our yeshiva when asked about it? (I was actually asked another question about my thoughts on the role of Israel in our Jewish life, but I declined to answer - not only because I keep all my Zionism articles behind a paywall, but because I'm considering writing another one this summer and I don't want to make any statements until I've written it.)

This was my last YBT shiur of 2025-2026, and what a great year it's been. I'm looking forward to summer break, but I'm already excited about what next year will bring!
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מקורות:
משלי טו:כז
דעות ו:א
אבות ב:ט
https://www.yeshivabneitorah.org/
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The Torah Content for the month of Tammuz is sponsored by Yael Weiss. Thank you, Yael, for your support! It's people like you who make it possible for me to continue doing what I do.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Thank you for honoring me with the opportunity to deliver your graduation charge. A good commencement address, a good graduation charge, should have a memorable takeaway from the outset. Here is my takeaway in four short sentences. Don't die. Don't go insane. Don't destroy your mind. Go in peace. Allow me to explain. The Talmud in Khagiga 14b tells the story of Arba'a an Nichnasul Lepardis, the four who entered the orchard. They were the four Tanaim, sages of the Mishnah, Rabbi Akiva, Akher, Ben Azai, and Ben Zoma. Rabbi Akiva's name is the most familiar. He was one of the greatest sages who ever lived, even though he only started learning at the age of 40. Akher, as Rabbi Brander discussed over Shabbas, is the euphemistic nickname for Elisha ben Avuya. He had two claims to fame. Akher was the teacher of the great Rabbi Meir, and Akher became an apostate, abandoning Judaism for a life of instinctual gratification. The sages called him Akher, literally the other one, for both reasons, acknowledging the contributions he made while refusing to say his name because of the path that he took. Ben Azai and Ben Zoma are two other great sages who met at an unfortunate end, as we'll now see. This sounds really depressing, I hear, but it's gonna get good. Don't worry. The Talmud tells us that these four sages entered the orchard, which according to the Rambam is an allegory for the deepest and most esoteric ideas, uh most esoteric areas of knowledge in science and metaphysics. The Talmud then tells us what happened to each. Ben Azai glanced at the orchard and died. Ben Zoma glanced and went insane. Akher mutilated the shoots, destroying the young saplings that had been planted there. Only Rabbi Akiva came in peace and went in peace. There are two questions I'd like to answer. First, what does this mean? What exactly happened to each of these sages and why? Second, what does this have to do with you? Thankfully, the Ramam provides an approach in the Guide for the Perplexed 132. But he begins by explaining what allowed Rabia Kiva to delve into the deepest areas of philosophy and emerge intact. He says, if you stop and sit with a difficult question instead of forcing an answer, if you don't fool yourself into thinking something has been proven when it hasn't, if you don't jump to dismissing claims that haven't actually been disproven, and if you don't try to grasp what is beyond your current level, then you've reached the height of what a person can achieve. You'll be like Ribbi Akiva, who came through this kind of deep inquiry into divine matters, safe and sound. According to the Rambom, what made Ribi Akiva great was not how much he learned. What made him great was his intellectual humility. He didn't rush his thinking, he didn't skip steps or force conclusions. He knew himself well enough to recognize his limits and he set his pace accordingly. That is how he ascended to greatness, step by step, like water dripping on a rock. This is what allowed him to come and go in peace. Next, the Ramam explains Akher. He writes, but if you reach for what's beyond your grasp or rush to call things false when nobody has actually disproven them, then you've gone the way of Elisha Akher. You won't just fall short of perfection, you'll end up worse off than the most base person. Your imagination will take over and you'll drift toward deficiency, base bad character traits, and bad decisions because your mind has become so encumbered that its light has gone out. People think Akher is bad because he became a heretic and abandoned Judaism. According to the Rahmam, those were merely symptoms of the underlying disease. Rabia Akiva, unlike Rabbi Akiva, Akher rushed to conclusions and exceeded his own limitations. Not only did he arrive at false beliefs, but once he damaged his intellect, his imagination, hijacked by his instinctual drives, rushed in to fill the void, corrupting his ideas, his character, and his decision-making as a result. Sadly, Rahmam doesn't discuss Ben Azai or Benzoma, but the Rosh Bats does in his commentary on the Haggadah, where he homiladically links the four who entered parties to the four sons. Obviously, Rabbi Akiva is the wise son and Akheir is the wicked son. Ben Azai is the simple son. What does it mean that he glanced at the orchard and died? Not that the act of glancing killed him. Rather, he saw the problems and difficulties involved in the next stage of his development and became intimidated by them, so he stopped learning. And be uh he stopped learning, turned away, and continued in his simplicity until he died. A ben Azai who stops learning is as good as dead. Benzoma is the son who doesn't know to ask. Like Ben Azai, he entered the orchard and was confronted with difficult philosophical questions. Ben Az, unlike Ben Azai, he did not turn away, but unlike Rubi Akiva and Akher, he did not follow through in his learning. Instead, he remained with philosophical questions and doubts. He cared about these issues, but he did not keep asking questions and he did not pursue answers. As a result, these problems calcified into a distorted mindset, permanently stunting his growth and forever warping his thinking. He went philosophically insane. Let us pause and update our takeaways. Don't die. Don't stop learning out of apathy or because the path ahead is difficult. Keep on truth seeking. Don't go insane. Don't allow the questions and problems you face to harden into distorted ways of thinking about Judaism, about the world, about how to live. Don't destroy your mind. Don't rush to conclusions and rush and don't rush the process, or else you'll damage your capacity to think and you will fall into bad ideas, bad meetos, and bad decisions. Go in peace. Know your own mind, know your limitations, and focus on actualizing your potential at your pace. Let me spell out why I chose this theme for you. Your parents and your teachers at Nijeh and at other institutions of learning you've attended have provided each of you with your own foundation and set you on your individual path. As Mrs. Eisman pointed out, your paths are remarkably different. Each of you arrived at Nijeh via a different route, and each of you will go forth to different destinations. But during your last year at Nijah you set foot into the orchard. I'm speaking, of course, of Sefer Eev, the book of Job, which we spent the last year learning in depth. We delved into some of the most difficult problems in theology. Why do bad things happen to good people? What is evil? What is good? What is Hashem's relationship with both? What does Hajgah Pratis, divine providence, mean? How does it operate? Where's the justice in this world? I do not think it is an accident that Khazal attribute Akir's heresy to precisely this investigation. They say that he witnessed a tragic incident and jumped to the false conclusion that there is no Hajjgakh Pratis and no divine justice. In contrast, Raby Akiva not only arrived at the truth in these matters, but internalized that truth to the extent that when he was being tortured to death by the Romans, he was able to understand and accept his own fate as an expression of divine justice and goodness, and he died while saying the Shema filled with Ava Sashem, love of God. But that's not the only reason I chose this theme. I chose it because you are about to embark on your young adult lives in a world of uncertainty. The winds of change are blowing, and many of these changes seem dire. What worries me about your generation are the many intellectual hazards. So many young men and women your age have already succumbed to these pitfalls. They have stopped learning. They have embraced insane ideas and value systems because they have neglected to ask good questions and seek answers in a methodical and deliberate manner. They have destroyed their own minds and allowed their thinking, their character, and their decision making to be taken over by their emotions and imagination. Your success as truth seekers is not guaranteed, and you could suffer the same fate as your peers. But I am optimistic. For these past one, two, and three years, I have seen each of you develop in your own ways, and I am encouraged by what I have seen. Sarah, when you first started learning in my class two years ago, you barely spoke. But as time passed, I saw your intellectual courage begin to emerge. You asked questions and gave answers even when you weren't sure of yourself. And the more you did this, the more confident in your mind you became. Keep nurturing that courage and you will go far. Alessia, I've got to admit, having only attended NEJA for one year, I was uncertain about how much of an impact your learning has had. But then I read your final. In it, you listed your personal takeaways, saying you learned not to jump to conclusions, not to rush the learning process, not to hastily judge something based on first impressions, and not to assume that the truth is as simple as it appears at first glance. These qualities are exactly the hallmarks of Rebbe Akiva. Like Rebby Akiva, you began your learning journey late relative to your peers, but you have shown that you have the same qualities that made Rebi Akiva great. And I know those qualities will serve you well. Risha, I have taught many students who are academically successful but only care about grades. Conversely, I've taught students who are genuinely curious and love learning but lack the discipline to follow an inquiry through to its end. To be a successful truth seeker, you need both qualities, the drive and the discipline. You have both, and I'm confident that you will use these for the good. This is evident not only in the answers you give, but in the questions you ask and in the manner that you carry on discussions with your teachers and peers. Good intuition isn't only an intellectual virtue. Yes, you need to be a straight thinker, which you are, but you also need to have be someone who doesn't allow their emotions to interfere with their thinking. And that is a rare quality to find, especially in someone your age. I'm excited to see where your mind takes you. Pora, you have shown the most remarkable growth over your time in high school, especially this past year. But what most stands out in my mind is that over a month ago, when classes ended for seniors, you continued to zoom in for my EOF classes because you wanted to continue learning Torah for its own sake. You made sure to show up and to participate, even when participation grades were no longer a thing. And you always made sure to email me when you knew you would be absent to ask for the recording. That, more than your academic growth, is what has shown me that you are a real truth seeker. Moshe, your curiosity and inquisitiveness are without bounds. Your dedication to learning is evident from your decision to continue learning in yeshiva next year and to be the first person to ask me for a summer chavrusa, which you did months ago. But what will take you far is not just your mind, but your character. Your parents and grandparents certainly deserve credit for that, but the qualities they have instilled have become your own. Your success as a bentura will emerge from your mind and your midos. All six of you have shown yourselves ready to flourish. As Jews, as citizens of the world, and as truth-seeking human beings, I am so proud of each and every one of you, and so are your other teachers and family members. Keep the fire of truth seeking burning because it's a windy world out there, and that fire is now yours to protect. Don't die, don't go insane, don't destroy your mind, go in peace. Mazeltov and your commencement to this next chapter in life, I wish you way more than luck.